I Wasn't Having Sex with the Urinal, Melky!

8/24/07

God, who would have thought a group of professional athletes could be so immature?

We’re in Detroit today for a series with the Tigers, and this morning we hit the field for an informal workout. It’s a laid-back routine. We just field a few grounders, take some swings in the cage, and shake off the cobwebs from the travel day.

When we finished, I was using the visitor’s bathroom when Melky Cabrera walked in. He started snickering right away, and rushed back to the locker room yelling “Yo, A’s bangin’ the urinal!”

Then everybody laughed and I had to finish quick before they rushed in to see.

I wasn’t having sex with the urinal, Melky. I just know that if you stand too far away, the urine can splash and create a mess for everybody.

Leaning in close is a good way to be sanitary. But I wouldn’t expect you to understand that. God, I’ve got such a bad sodium headache right now. I might ask to only play 3 innings tonight.

I wonder if I can sue Melky for slander. If any lawyers read this please leave a comment.